NFL Adds Two Appeals Courts to Lengthen Super Bowl at CBS Request

Gerbil News Network

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn.  Tomorrow’s Super Bowl LII, or “52” as it is known outside the Roman Empire, will be the longest football game of the current season, but for officials of the CBS Television Network, that’s a different sort of problem than you might expect.  “A Super Bowl is usually an hour longer than a regular season game,” says CBS Under-Assistant Director of Programming Chuck Sanders.  “That’s not enough.”

David Tyree “Helmet Catch”:  “This one’s going to the Supreme Court.”

NFL officials, upon further review, agreed.  “I think we’ve lost sight of what the game’s all about,” says Ernie Doak, who works in the league’s Finance Department.  “It’s not just about concussions and end-zone pantomimes of ‘Duck-Duck-Goose,’ we’re here to make money off commercials.”

And so the NFL will add two higher levels of review from official calls on the field; an interlocutory court in the VIP Lounge at U.S. Bank…

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